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5 entries this month
for what it is ..03:40 Oct 26 2007
Times Read: 647
it eats at me .... threatening any joy i might feel
it digs in its claws .... and sets itself up
it bares its fangs .... and shows its dominance
it makes me bow .... and takes my submission
not as a gift but as a trophy
it binds me .... so that i can not breath
it corrupts me ... leaving me tainted and cold
it loves me .... like no other
it hates me ... and makes me hate
the ones i love the most
it never leaves ... forever present and waiting
it never sleeps ... watchful for my transgressions
it waits .... sometimes in silence
it waits .... sometimes roaring in my ears
like a storm from the bowels of hell
it is my fear
plain
simple
excruciating
encompassing
controlling
taking over
ruling
relentless
take it away
just
take it away
tracyelynne 2007
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written by a friend ... Chaos68
15:39 Oct 23 2007
Times Read: 661
and another of those things ... that touches me to the point that i want to put it here so i can look at it easily
*hugs Chaos*
__________________________________________
TIL DEATH US DO PART
Lonely moments
Silent tears
Broken hearted
My darkest years
The aching inside
It will not wane
A hollow soul
Torment and pain
I loved you completely
Surrendered my all
You promised to catch me
Should I stumble and fall
Blinded by passion
You scarred my heart
You crushed my spirit
Til death us do part
2007 Chaos68
_________________________________________
and then there was ...........today23:04 Oct 22 2007
Times Read: 672
across the meadows
lying deep within my heart
a battle cry echoes
its not the sound itself that scares me
but from whence it comes
everywhere
no where
though my heart aches to don my own armor
take up my own sword
and delve headfirst into battle beside those i love
i cannot
i am not needed
or i am not wanted
needless to say
i await the dreaded sounds
of metal clashing
teeth gnashing
hooves thundering in the dark
the silence is far worse
than anything i can imagine
outcome ... for there SHALL be one
is something else that frightens me
makes me ache clear through to my very core
even though i dont fight
even though i dont participate
i am surely to be one
of the defeated when its over
will i be one of the broken
defeated beyond repair?
or just left standing in a field of dismay
defeated just the same?
no tales for the valiant
no songs for the brave
no accolades for the worthy
just a battle fought
lives and hearts torn
things changed
will i be left wondering still
what it was for
and why it had to be
listen
for it grows stronger
louder
more insistent
more frightening even than before
even in its silence
i feel the ground quake with it
pulling me
pushing me
hating me
loving me
STOP !!!!!!!!
was that the clang of swords
greeting each other hastily
or was it
the sound
of the pieces of a broken heart
fallen to the cold
stone
floor
i dont know any more
and you arent here
to hold me
and tell me
everything is going
to be
alright
for you have gone
to meet the challenge
and left me
here
blinded
silenced
alone
tracyelynne/kamik --2007
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a new image17:50 Oct 20 2007
Times Read: 701
its just one of those days
Absence18:09 Oct 04 2007
Times Read: 734
Within the absence of color -- there can be solace.
Some where between the black and the white
Is the place i choose to dwell....
Solace .. is what i find there
Peace is what it gives me
Security in the drab
For what i know
Is what i love
And what loves me in return
Within the absence of color ... there IS my solace
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